The Canadiens Are Horror Movie Villains: Habs 6, Bruins 5 (SO).

by Jacob Saltiel
zip1

Who invited this guy?

8 Minutes and change to go in the 3rd period and things are fine in Boston. Following their last meeting with the Habs, Claude Julien confused the Canadiens for the Quebec provincial diving team, and might have gotten David Desharnais and Alexandre Despatie mixed up.

This time, the script’s flipped. The Beantown building is rocking. The all French-name line of Seguin, Bergeron, and Marchand looking to have capped off an excellent night and stretching out that Boston lead to 5-3. Carey Price has been chased from the net, they’ve hideously outshot the other team on the way to crawling out of a 2-0 hole. To this point in the game, Boston’s let in the fewest goals in the entire NHL, and there’s only 8 minutes left. On top of that, rumours abound that Jarome Iginla is coming to Boston.

Nothing can go wrong, right?…

And then… OH MY GOD, IS THAT BRENDAN GALLAGHER’S MUSIC?!

Not a minute later the score’s moved to 5-4. Don’t cash that cheque just yet. And, wait a moment, Chara’s gone and done elbowed Colby Armstrong in the face? Why would he do that?!

But not to worry, the Canadiens’ powerplay has been useless, and sure enough they squander it.

The clock’s down to less than 2 minutes when- AARON JOHNSON PLAYS FOR THE BRUINS?! AND HE’S SHOT THE PUCK OUT OF PLAY?!

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but the Canadiens tie it up with a few seconds left after scrambling around and Chara tipping the puck into his own net.

Despite Emelin taking a penalty in overtime, this one only ends in misery and shame for Boston. They proceed to lose in the shootout and their goaltender basically takes a dump on himself in a blind rage leaving the ice surface while the team looks away awkwardly.

If you think it stops there, Boston fans, oh it does not. At a press conference where every insider in the game thought that Jay Feaster was about to gift Iginla to the Bruins, he instead announced that he’d traded him to the Penguins for a 1st round pick,  and two college students, one of whom can’t correctly spell that he’s a political science major on his university profile page (at YALE!), while the other is on the dean’s list studying business, which he’ll need when he’s selling consulting strategies in 3-4 years.

There goes the evening, the conference, and, well, possibly the division. Last time the Habs met the Bruins, they were ahead of them in the standings, but the Bruins had several games in hand and it seemed mostly symbolic that the Canadiens would hold on to that top spot in the Northeast division.

Thanks to last night’s loss, the Bruins have only one game in hand and are a point behind the Canadiens.

The race is on, Boston.

How do you like them apples?

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